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Is It Healthy to Outgrow Friendships?


 Drifting from certain friendships in life happens to everybody at some turn. As we mature, we shed versions of ourselves to fit into the ideal of the present. In that process, some friendships remain in the past while some endure the transitions in life. Do outgrowing bonds help us thrive in our professional and personal spaces?

Has it ever crossed your mind that discontinuing a few friendships boosts your self-worth and growth? It may not be a deliberate or dramatic break like romantic relationships. Rather, you simply stop investing efforts and drift apart with time. 

Disconnecting may be for the better if the friendship is:

Stagnant

You no longer share similar goals or values, or even your outlook in life may not synchronise. The most obvious sign of a stagnant friendship is when neither of you looks forward to seeing the other. Perhaps the only connecting aspect of such friendships lies in memories of the past.

One-sided

True friends support you, show genuine concern, and most importantly seek you out. Some friends, however, show up depending on your worth in their hour of need. One-sided friendships should be unlawful because they leave you confused and emotionally deceived. It takes the efforts of two to keep any relationship wholesome. 

Demotivating

Sometimes, all it takes is kindness, a word or two from a friend or simply their presence to uplift us. Some 'friends' that bring negativity to the table can be likened to a rotten potato's toxicity. Unnecessary critiques, insensitive questions, and spreading gossip, just to name a few offences. Best not to breathe in the same air!

Destructive

Friends are there for you to laugh and hang around with. And you grow together. But if the company of certain people take you down the road of destruction, should you pull the plug? Some of us do poorly when confronted with peer pressure. Associating with certain crowds revives a pattern of bad habits that you know are harmful to you. 

Draining

Sustaining certain friendships may be exhausting as we put up with their expectations. Superficial relations drain our mental energy as we feign cordiality at the expense of losing our authentic selves. We feel answerable to certain acquaintances when we are unable to comply with their expectations.

Not Every Friend Lost Is a Loss

I think one need not be apologetic about losing people. There's a reason why you 'grew out' of that space. Ask yourself how letting go of specific individuals impact(ed) you. It's positively essential to stop nurturing a friendship if it wounds your self-respect and thwarts your personal growth. 

What you can do is reflect, reevaluate, and revive a diminishing bond or simply move on. Either way, do not harbour regret. 


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